g'day paul
i have read that as well but if you tried to put the grommet in before the pipe you would find it near imposible to do its hard enough doing it the suggested way with it on the pipe ted told me to use some grease on the grommet as it also helps seal it up as it can suck air through it causing no oil to be picked up from the pan.
on the gasket ford recommends nothing but i put a very thim smear of rtv sealer on it also the bolt that screws in to the pump from the top side of the block i put some thread sealer on as it can leak oil.

moz. geelong victoria australia.
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